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Alabaster testimony

AlabasterThis is one of the most touching testimonies I’ve read and I couldn’t stop the tears… I was wondering while reading it, how many have had such traumatic childhoods?! For anyone to be healed and restored from such nightmares can only be by the hand of our Heavenly Father. This special Lady has ordered a few different scarves in various styles for herself and others that she blessed them with but this testimony was her very first with us. No matter what the circumstances, let this touching testimony minister to you and encourage you that Abba is in control of it ALL!

When I was Thirteen,I had a beautiful lounger dress that I used for a night gown. It was a flowy full skirted peasant style that I enjoyed. It was blue and green mix with pink and yellow tiers. I loved this dress because of the full skirt I could twirl and sway in it and it made me feel feminine and pretty and good about myself. A young girl discovering herself to be more of a woman than a litle girl.Special feelings being awakened about what true love is, especially the love of the Lord. I had just given my heart to the Lord the year before and I knew that I loved Him because He died for me and I felt His presence with me especially in nature.I loved the quiet time of the night and the soft light of the moon. I would wear my night gown and go out into the yard and with a joyful heart dance before the Lord in the light of the moon.A special time between me and my Lord! While I danced I felt loved and pretty.To feel pretty for me was a big challenge because fat girls are not pretty ones was the message that I heard every day in junior high and everywhere else for that matter.As I twirled and swayed, I felt special to Him and that it didn’t matter to Him what size I was.

One night as I was dancing, I heard a door open behind me and I was shocked to see my dad standing there. It was late and he had to get up for work the next day. He began to speak to me in a tone I had never heard before from him. He came over and hugged me in a way no daddy should ever hug his daughter. He said he had been watching me and said some things a daddy should never say to his daughter and the hair stood up on the back of my neck and arms. My mother had told me once never be alone with your daddy and you will be alright. I started to get a clue why she would say such a thing.He hugged me again and put his hands on my shoulders and began to really tighten his grip. I prayed for the Lord to help me and I believe he did because I keept my head and didn’t panic and because I didn’t stuggle he loosended his grip. It was then that I bolted and broke free from his grip and ran as fast as I could across the yard and to the back door. As I ran I could hear him yelling and ordering me to come back. When I reached the back door I locked it and that made him really angry, but I knew he could get in through the door he came out of. I knew I would be safe if I could get to my bedroom that I shared with my sister. If he had tried to come in there I would wake her and she would help me.

A few days later, my sister and I were getting some of our old clothes ready for the goodwill bag and I took my dancing dress and stuffed it angrily down into the bag like I stuffed the whole incident away. I felt so dirty like something had to of been wrong with me for him to feel that way toward me. I felt like I didn’t deserve my dress anymore. Something that was special was ruined, especially the way I felt about myself. I pretended like nothing ever happened and hoped that it would all blow over like a bad storm or that I would wake up and it all had been a dream.I loved my dad and would only hold on to the memories of when I was a little girl and he was sweet and kind to me and called me his sweething, until I turned 13.Things went down hill from there into a long line of incidents like that one. I found out that year that he had raped my two older sisters and I lived in fear of it happening to me. Such skeletons in our closet and I didn’t want anyone to know because I was so ashamed of him and how messed up our family was with all our secrets.So, I played the denial game to survive my agony. I realized later in my life that I learned to play this game from my mom. I didn’t know the pain she went through until after she died.

My mom loved the Lord and He truely was her sanctuary. My mom suffered two nervous breakdowns and at least three heart attacks that I knew of. I know a lot of the reason was that she was a victim of rape by several different people in her life. Her step father, my dad’s uncle and two of my brothers were no concieved in love and as a result they were sent away to foster homes.My sister and I are the youngest and by the time they had us things were better between them and she forgave him and thought things would be different now.The funny thing about denial is it only helps for awhile until everything you have swept under the carpet becomes so big that you can’t deny it anymore.When I was twenty two I moved out of my mom  and dad’s house to stay in a dorm while I went to bible college because I couldn’t take it anymore. After my sister moved out, I was the only one at home and it was tormenting for me to have him creep around in the middle of the night and rattle my bedroom door and tell me to let him come in. I knew that if he broke it down, nobody would of came to help me. My mom would of pretended she didn’t hear anything like she had done before. She couldn’t of haddled it. So I would lock my door and I would would pray. When I had the oppertunity to move into the dorm I did. The Dean couldn’t figur out why I wanted to stay there when my parents house was in town.I still counld’n talk about it but, I slept like a baby! No fear and healing began in my heart and mind.

A few years passed and my precious Lord blessed me with my wonderful loving husband who has loved me with unconditinal love. Abba father has used my husband’s love to bless my life and restore my trust in men. Yahweh has brought wonderful brothers in the faith to help in my healing and help me deal with my trust issues. A beautiful sister in Him told me of a wonderful ministry called “Dyed4you”. They are a prophetic ministry that offer ‘silk scarves’ that can be used for prayer  or dancing in worship. I decied to order one and it really changed my life! It changed my prayer life in a way I don’t know that I can really explain except that I am different for the better. Then the Lord laid it on my heart to use my scarf to worship Him at Shavaot. In worshipping the Lord with my silk the Lord began to do somthing new in my heart.Many an early morning He would wake me to pray and some mornings He would wake me to minister to my heart about things that I had buried and brought to my rememberance the ‘dancing dress’ and told me it was something that He wanted to heal in my heart and that I was hanging on to wrong attitudes I had toward myself. For the next few weeks He would wake me and deal with my heart til my hair and pillow case was wet. He told me He wanted to restore my ‘dancing dress’ to me. He instructed me to buy a large ‘silk’ with the same colors of the ‘dancing dress’ and come and dance before Him!

A few days before “The feast of Trumpets”, I heard a song that changed my life! It was as if the Holy Spirit was singing it to me!! The song is ‘dance with me’ by Paul Wilber. I had never heard that song before, but when I heard it I knew it was confirmation for me to step out in faith and order the ‘dancing silk’. A few weeks before the Lord had put it on my heart to buy a ‘silk’ for a dear sister in the faith. I couldn’t afford both, but the Lord spoke to my heart and said if I would trust Him and order it that He would make a way for me. I really couldn’t see it in our finaces. The day I went to order my sister’s there was exactly enough money for me to buy the one that the Lord instructed me to get! Wow! My silk is a special confirmation of His love for me because it not only is a replacement for my ‘dancing dress’ but a confirmation that He was pleased with me with something that I shared with our wonen’s group earlier this year. I shared a study that I did on the “Alabaster box” in Luke 7. My silk was named ‘Alabaster”! Each silk is named and an explanation of the colors and what they represent is included. It ministered to me and blessed me so much!!!!It was anointed with a special anoiting oil called “Intimate Devotion” which was inspired by a piece of prophetic art called” Intimate Devotion”.I recieved my ‘Dancing silk’ one day before Sukkot and what a special time of dwelling in His presence!!! A beautiful shadow picture of the wedding supper of the Lamb. I am so blessed and so very thankful to my Lord!!!

The song “Dance with me”, my ‘Dancing silk”, the anointing oil and the beautifully inspired art work (inspired by James Nesbit) has blessed my heart and have helped change my worship to the lover of my soul! As air is to the body, and the sweet smell of the air after the rain,so is our Lord’s Spirit that came and swept over my spirit and healed broken places that I had forgotten about and some I didn’t even realize. Oh Lord God,Yahweh, I bless your name as I dance before you in the light of the moon!!!Thank you ,Yashua(Jesus) from a heart that has been restored with something that I never thought I would have again!

 

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23 thoughts on “Alabaster testimony

  1. Soooo beautiful!!!! How great is our God!!!

  2. What a beautiful testimony of Abba’s faithfulness and love for us!

  3. Beautiful testimony and reminder to me of whispered invitations from my past to “come and worship”. Thank you for sharing and Thank you Dyed for you for being obedient to create and share your gifts and talents for Him.

  4. What a great testimony! Thank you for sharing!

  5. Wow. This is beautiful. God is so good! May the healing and blessings continue. Thank you for sharing!

  6. Praise God for His glorious restoration in you and in your intimacy with Him. Your testimony is heart wrenching and joyful all at the same time. Thank you for sharing courageously and I pray He continues to show up in beautiful and intimate ways as you pursue Him.

  7. Wow!! What a love story of the redemption of Jesus!! Beautiful! ❤️ I absolutely love the scarfs,and dance and twirll as j worship! My first scarf was “Undone” I was and still get undone in his presence!

  8. Oh my goodness…no wonder you were moved to tears, Larisa! This is an incredible testimony. Father, you are so faithful & so good! We Praise you for restoration, & for using this ministry to help bring it about!

  9. Beautiful. God is in the business of restoration. Thank you Jesus.

  10. The love of the Father heals every kind of pain. Beautiful how Daddy God pays attention to the little details of our heart. Thank you for sharing.

  11. Amazing! In every situation, He makes a way.

  12. What a beautiful testimony! We have such a good Father! I have been so blessed by your ministry. Praying increased favor over you in Jesus’ name.

  13. I want to dance again. I want to hope again. I love the ministry of dyed4you… Needing Abba Father’s love and arms to hold me. Thanks for this testimony. Blessings!

  14. Wow. This ministry is just amazing. God uses it in such a unique way

  15. ❤Beautiful Love story of a Father “Our Father” for his ..daughter. Thank You for ..sharing !!

  16. God is so faithful and intimate with us!

  17. As I finished reading this I began to hear the song Good Good Father, it broke me down. Abba is such a good Father. As a Christian I had entered in with my relationship with Jesus, but not realizing until years later that I did not have that intimacy with Abba. I had wounds and had issues from my earthly father and through inner healing I have been able to open up and enter in and trust that Abba is a Good Good Father. Thank you for sharing your testimony. I pray that healing and freedom will come through as others read it.

    You’re a Good, Good Father
    It’s who you are, It’s who you are,
    It’s who you are and I’m loved by you
    It’s who I am, It’s who I am, It’s who I am

  18. Wow. loved your story. Albaster Box Broken and poured out.. I too love The song ‘Dance with me Oh Lover of my soul’ when I am alone at work as a custodian mopping or sweeping, my mop becomes ,My Jesus and we dance…I too had a dress, I too was 13 when I danced ..So yes your blog has touched my heart..as you touched Popa’s

  19. The love of our Daddy God! What a beautiful testimony!

  20. There are no words to express my feelings regarding how much this testimony has blessed me! The only thing that I can say is simply dance baby girl! Dance!

  21. Oh how He Loves us!

  22. Oh Wow! How Great is Our God! His love for us never fails!

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