BUT I: Not one of God’s Names

An Ordinary Day
Today while getting ready for the day, I was reflecting upon something the LORD has asked me to do. I initially responded to Him with, “Yes, LORD.” There have been no further instructions. I am waiting for the next command. However, at various times this morning I had become absorbed in wondering about the details of the assignment.  I thought to myself, “But I don’t know exactly how to do that.”

Immediately, I sensed Him say with a smile, “There are many names I Am called. However, “But I” is not one of them, Melissa. I Am.” I started to laugh and mentally scrolled through some of His names: JEHOVAH-TSIDKENU, NISSI, ROHI, RAPHA, SHAMMAH, SABBAOTH, and ROI.   Sure enough, “BUT I” was not one of them.

I instantly thought about when I say “Yes, LORD,” it is often later followed by “But I…” in response to Abba Father. However, in spite of my excuses and objections, I follow through with what I sense Him to say. He is always faithful and exceeds my expectations. However, I think my “but” is getting in the way of my peace and confidence in Him. Below are some of my now obsolete “But I“s.

But I:
don’t want to freak people out or draw attention
don’t have the money, means, ability
don’t want to misrepresent You
am a this or that
am wanting to run
am not sure this is really You
can think of 10 others who are better
can give reasons why they won’t listen
can think of other more comfortable ways to do it

Relief
What a beautiful turning point. No more “But I.” Instead, “I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me” (Phil 4:13). Often times, Jesus calls us to do things we do not feel capable of or comfortable doing: it is through His strength, not ours.

Notable Others Have Objected
Obviously, I am not the first person to think or utter a variation of “But I…” after sensing a divine assignment. There are countless examples in the Bible and across generations. Right away, I am reminded of Moses telling the LORD that he is not a good speaker, Ezekiel objecting to cooking over human excrement, Mary stating that she is a virgin, and Peter exclaiming that he has never eaten unclean food.

We Are Clay After All
The LORD is gracious in His understanding of us as clay and welcomes questions that lead to understanding. Perhaps, responding with an “Even though” is more befitting. Instead of stating a “But I” a “Jesus, even though” is more affirming of His call.

Rewind
Rewording my thoughts from this morning: replace the “But I don’t know how to do that” with “Jesus, even through...”

Here it is:
“Even though I don’t know how to do that, You do. I will go. You are the LORD of Hosts and I am not alone in the battle. I know You will show me every step at the appointed time. You will equip me for the work You have called me into. Your ways are so much higher than mine. Your foolishness far surpasses my greatest nugget of wisdom. You are the Potter and I am the clay. I fear only You, not man and not fear itself.”

Closing
My hope is the LORD speaks to your heart and gives you clear direction about an assignment you are wondering about. I pray that this word encourages you to draw deeper into the plans the LORD has for you, highlighting and then deleting anything that pulls you away from the assignments He has given you. Be anxious for nothing and fear the LORD; nothing and no one else. When He gives directions we are to walk in them. Messiah Jesus knows who He has called and all the details. Perhaps, we don’t know all the details right away so we won’t get entangled in them.

Be encouraged that if you have been stating “But I” or some other form of “But I,” get ready for the LORD to shift your inner dialogue and vocabulary to more accurately and acutely reflect His perfect heart. His instructions are done in love and like water will bring a flood of joy into those places that seem parched, brittle, and impermeable. May we hear echo in our hearts: “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matt 25:21).

Blessing
Abba Father, You are Amazing God. Your sense of humor delights me. May those who have read this word, be filled to overflowing with holy laughter, reflecting your goodness. Humor is such a beautiful teacher rooted in love. Thank You, Messiah Jesus for Your precious blood and Name above all names. In Jesus’ name, I take all authority over anything not of You, LORD, blocking or hindering Your children from laughing in the joy of the LORD. Come Holy Spirit and fill Your beloved children with new wine and a fresh perspective on relationship challenges. Thank You, LORD for a garment of praise and the washing away of anything worn out and tattered. With fresh oil, may we feel renewed to carry out Your plans, LORD because You have chosen us.  Hashem Yeshua, In Jesus’ name, amen.

Abrazos (Hugs) ,
Mel